Tutor Feedback – Assignment 4

My tutor gave me a very favourable feedback during our video meeting and was not really aware that I had exceeded the word count for the essay. So she sent back an annotated copy of the essay with the feedback, highlighting areas where I could potentially reduce the word count. My comments and reflections are in italics below

Feedback on assignment

Demonstration of technical and Visual Skills, Quality of Outcome, Demonstration of Creativity

She suggested using a sub-heading as this confines my parameters and stops the need to refer to too much outside of the framework I have set.

I thought I had set my parameters in my introduction, but realise the sub-heading is also for the reader’s benefit so I have added a sub-heading.

Critical thinking MOOC – this has paid dividends in helping you approach subject. This
information will be really useful for the CS unit at Level 3.

I agree. I have the model on my corkboard just behind my monitor so I’m aware of it all the time. I feel that I definitely had more benefit from it during this module than during the Landscape module.

Essay – clear structure where you have redrafted several (many!) times to reach this point.  The issue now is reducing the word count without losing the essence of your study.

This will be the challenge.

You will find that slowly taking out words here and there may be a partial solution to help drop rather than eradicating whole paragraphs or sentences.

(You can also move additional information into the footnotes if you think a point is salient but can be removed from the main body of the text).

I think there may be a few places where I can relegate text to footnotes safely. Perhaps time to engage the thesaurus again in order to reduce word count a bit more.

Assignment 5

Contingency plan for if the museum does not give permission – how else can you tell this story?

I think I was subconsciously thinking along the lines something more conceptual, similar to what Martha Rosler did with her The Bowery in Two Inadequate descriptive systems (1974-1975), where she didn’t actually photograph the people. I think I will let the research and the survivors’ stories guide me here.

We discussed how it could be that you have many voices, and various sources of information.  Looking at Jack Latham, Taryn Simon and others who have incorporated the idea of documentation within their projects.

I will look at both Latham and Simon’s work.

Also look at the timeline – photographers/artists who have played with the narrative of time – it would be good to seek some artists who have done this.  They may not be photographers per se, but have used photography as one of the sources in their work.

  • Mary Kelly – Post Partum Document
  • Jo Spence (and the work with Rosy Martin)

Both have combined various sources of in their work although not related to your subject matter.

(Spence’s work was recently exhibited at the Wellcome Institute in London so you should find some recent articles on this)

This is a great BBC documentary on Jo Spence’s work:


Thank you for these suggestions. I’ll definitely look at them.

Be open to a range of diverse sources.

Research editing AV work – my suggestion would be to talk to other students who have worked in this field with regard to software to use.

I have already canvased the students in the Documentary hangout, but no one there had any specific recommendations. I’ll put out query on the student forum as well, but I think I may be able to do what I want by using PowerPoint – a little more experimenting needed.


Demonstration of technical and Visual Skills, Demonstration of Creativity

Tutor to follow up on duplication in course text.

Thank you.


Context, reflective thinking, critical thinking, analysis

Continues to be detailed and well referenced.

Thank you.

Learning Log

Context, reflective thinking, critical thinking, analysis

Good reflection on the log with regular check ins.

Thank you for guiding me on the correct way of doing this. This has always been a bit of a nebulous concept, but you clarified it wonderfully. I am quite amazed at the random thoughts that crop up when I am using the weekly check in.

Suggested reading/viewing


Taryn Simon

A Living Man Declared Dead and Others Chapter I – XVIII

Use of different sources – follow up on comic books?

I will look at Simon’s work again. I do remember doing it during a previous module. I have also approached my local library about comic books about the residential schools and I have managed to track down two through the database. I’ll take them out and see what information is there that I can incorporate/appropriate.

Pointers for the next assignment / assessment

Please inform me of how you would like your feedback for the next assignment: written or video/audio.

 Video please.

Strengths Areas for development
Clear structure used to drive essay  Use a sub heading to refine topic.
 Well referenced – good range of sources with theory as well as news stories  Edit to reduce word count
 Exploration of ideas for assignment 5  How to produce the project – presentation options to be investigated